an eternal self-belief. by Sylvia Morris
(response to Toyin Odutola’s Art Assignment)
I didn’t do this assignment way back when it was set because I couldn’t figure out a topic. There are so many things that I consider to be indispensable and I might do more gifs in the future. But I’ve been spending time lately thinking about time, about my past and future selves, about what makes me intrinsically me.
I remembered a time in highschool when, rejected by a boy, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and realised that I thought no less of myself. I was sad, I was disappointed, but I still thought that I was pretty great.
Self-belief is a tricky thing. It has often been marketed to me as a flaw by people who think that any self-confidence is offensive to God, and by people who think self-confidence is equivalent to thinking you are always right. And I am aware that my self-confidence is, at least in part, a result of being privileged in just about every way.
But I am still grateful for it. I am glad that when my world falls apart, I can stare at my face in the mirror, and believe in that person, and start again.