an eternal self-belief. by Sylvia Morris

(response to Toyin Odutola’s Art Assignment)

I didn’t do this assignment way back when it was set because I couldn’t figure out a topic. There are so many things that I consider to be indispensable and I might do more gifs in the future. But I’ve been spending time lately thinking about time, about my past and future selves, about what makes me intrinsically me. 

I remembered a time in highschool when, rejected by a boy, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and realised that I thought no less of myself. I was sad, I was disappointed, but I still thought that I was pretty great.

Self-belief is a tricky thing. It has often been marketed to me as a flaw by people who think that any self-confidence is offensive to God, and by people who think self-confidence is equivalent to thinking you are always right. And I am aware that my self-confidence is, at least in part, a result of being privileged in just about every way.

But I am still grateful for it. I am glad that when my world falls apart, I can stare at my face in the mirror, and believe in that person, and start again.

one moment. (see: low res gif)

one moment. by Sylvia Morris (she/her)

Accompanying music (by Son Lux) here. Please listen – the gifs really were created to accompany the music.

Video version on youtube

The video is kind of jerky – I used iMovie to make it by panning across a single picture. If anyone knows how to make it smooth, let me know!

I had a lot of ideas for how to respond to this assignment and most of them were about the How, rather than the What. The track instantly reminded me of a busy, city night, and that moment of connection that two strangers can have when they accidentally meet each others eyes (in laughter, fear, frustration or just… nothing particular).

I really wanted to do a panorama because (a) I wanted to capture both faces, and (b) I was thinking of spinny-kisses (in particular Yulin Kuang’s Ode video) but platonic. And the flickering nature of the music made me really want to do a gif so I could capture the flickering of city lights and that stationary moment type feeling. Hence the two versions of the assignment: one a panorama video, the other a flickering gif. 

Now to check out what everyone else has done for this collab 🙂